I didn’t know (generally) people from the same parents do not have similar family name in Afghanistan

Me (sitting in the office talking with my colleague): hey guys do you know who is “P” that the young students love him so much? Is he really honest in his political claims?
H (the colleague who I asked him): you shouldn’t ask me this question!
Me: why?
H: because he is my brother.
Me: OH! You guys have the same mother? (I was surprised since here having the same mother but different father is some thing very rare, because this would be the consequence of dead husband or divorced women, and there are strict rules for these cases. I’ll write about it later.)

H: NO! We are from the same parents!
Me: what? don’t say nonsense! His family name is “P” and yours “H” how can you be brothers???!!!
H: believe me! Ask others. We do not have the family name in Afghanistan. We have Takhalos (what do you want to call yourself)

And he was right. Now I see why people here just call each other with the first name. Just like the old times in Iran, (that I haven’t seen!) I do not know how it is in other parts of the world. It was really cute! It seems the concept of having sort of family name had came for the people who were applying for passport for immigration purpose.

Also here marriage is not registered anywhere! I was teasing my friends: “good! can I have as much as husband I want to? Who knows, nowhere is registered!” They were shocked and trying to explain me that of course the family knows you are married! (maybe that’s why the family and tribes have such strict (some times inhuman) rules against women.)

I did not expect to see disco or bars in Kabul in which alcoholic drinks are served:

Second night I arrived in Kabul, two Iranian guys (my neighbors) suggested on going to a nearby disco, what! Disco? in Kabul? Is it safe? If Taliban gets annoyed and blow it up, then?!
They told me no need to be scared, here you can legally buy and drink alcohol, no problem!
Cool! I asked an Afghan friend to join me. Then I realized that Afghans are not allowed to the discos, and bars.



I was really annoyed, how can be? So unfair, why is it accepted the “Others = internationals” do whatever they want?


"a Chinese restaurant in Kabul"


"This was my first drink in Kabul!"

Another night, I went to a famous bar, and I saw the law hanged on the wall, that Afghans are not allowed. And ironically the owner himself was afghan! He told me “I can not also serve you alcoholic drinks since you are Iranian and you should be Moslem!”
me: “ Idiot! Any way by law you should! I am a foreigner! give me then a Tequila! with lime plz”

I also had a food in very fancy foreign restaurants, Chinese, Italian, French, middle eastern, … name it!
Very paradoxical.



"The overexposed hanging frame,
says that: Afghans are not allowed! "


"Antique guns: Decoration inside
a fancy restaurant"

The government is trying to forbid serving alcoholic drinks. Most of the discos were closed. Actually I think this way is better than the current situation. There are a lot of foreigners there, and people feel they have been colonized; there are much negative feeling about these internationals, which bring so called “Haram” stuff.
No need for putting oil on top of fire, with disrespecting the general believes…

I was amused to see every body in Kabul has one mobile phone

This is really one of the funniest things. The most out of context technology resembling the consumer side of globalization! (hehe, what a statement!) I also immediately bought a mobile phone, you can’t do anything without! Actually an afghan friend had told me as one of the security instruction to buy a mobile as soon as I arrive and always have enough credit on it. Indeed I should have known that it is easy to buy a mobile phone, but it was funny to see there is hardly any fix telephone line and just mobiles. Lots of people had such a fancy mobiles! One guy laughed at my old and simple mobile. The mobile commercials were the most dominate ones, actually almost the only one! Three companies: Rooshan, Ariba and Afghan-sim, all foreign company, British, Arab and American. You wonder if really connecting people in this part of world is important. I mean if this is the philosophy behind it? Or is it again the matter of good business?


"Mobile shop, you see them every where"

From marketing point of view it is actually smart, case study: there are almost no addresses here, houses do not have number, and most of the streets do not have any name sign. How do you find an address?
Me; I want to meet A (imagine A is actually the Parliament member, who I want to interview her about women movements).
Me (calling): after lengthy greetings, would you be so kind and give me a time for interview this week?
A: maybe tomorrow
Me: Oh great! What time?
A: call me in the morning. If this number doesn’t work , the other one…
Me: sure!

Tomorrow morning:
Me (calling): where is the address?
A: come to Kabul City center (a big building some where in the Shahr e Nouw) then I’ll tell you how to come here.

Kabul City Center:
Me: I am in Kabul City center, where should I go now?
A: take the first street which has a kiosk on the …..

…… and after couple of times calling and spending at least 1$ I get to the appointment.

I asked from an executive director of one of above listed mobile company. “why every body has a mobile phone and what is your motivation”? he answered, “mobile is cheap here, it cost nothing! You almost phone for free”.
I guess I would pay around 5 cents every time I call, (not that much cheaper than in the Netherlands) so if making one appointment cost around 1$, and average income of government employers is 50$ a month, can some body do the math?


"Mobile advertise, Ariba, with cute girls!"

What is the use of consumer technology, when is just helping people get lazier and empty their packets? Wouldn’t they try to at least put a number on the houses of their street if they weren’t be connected to give direction on the phone? Maybe yes, maybe no! nobody knows! I still wonder whether you would need a certain educational and infrastructural base for bringing new consumer technologies, not educational, not beneficial for the development. Would it work if you take current high tech devices to a society of 100 years a go? It is amusing to observe that here!


"Mobile commercial on the ruined building! again Ariba"

I did not expected days and nights without electricity in Kabul

I knew there are difficulties with electricity. I was expecting to be some similarity with the war time is Iran, staying without electricity for couple of hours a day, is OK. However it was much worst. Despite that I was just in Kabul, (not even a small city) every two days we had a couple of hours electricity. All the people who can effort it have a generator which works on the gasoline. The fuel is very expensive, so just who can pay have light at home. Well again it is in Kabul, not in small city or so!



"Switching on the generator!"

The direct consequence is on the traffic. It so funny to see there is no stop light in the cross roads, even if it is, there is no electricity for them to work! Often a police man guiding cars. Any way I do not know really how people know where and when they are allowed to go or when to stop!

Here the electricity generated mainly from water, with dams which are build on the rivers. Last year winter has been very hard. It was a lot of snow and freezing cold. People were telling me the rivers were frozen with little water to get electricity. The North of Afghanistan has good resources of water, originating from the high mountains reaching to Himalayas. It such a pretty scenery in Kabul, when the day is clear.


"Kabul river and the mountains"


"Kabul river: view from the bridge "

Just couple of weeks ago, I was fantasizing with Simon what would happen if there is no energy, and no electricity. Here you go! Some evenings was fun sitting under the head lamp (or candle light), running my laptop on the battery, and writing my diaries ;-). It reminded me of when I was 8 or 9, during the Iran-Iraq war. Me and Mahsa (my sister) had to do our homework under the candle or oil light, the oil light had some metal bars around it, and in some angles it would give shadow, that was really annoying! we would often argue who sits where to get a better spot on avoiding the shadows on the pages of notebook. There were nights we would get bored on sitting in one place, and we would play with melted candles or make shadows patterns on the wall with our figures!

I am becoming pretty nostalgic here!!!

I didn’t expect to see no asphalt in the streets and extremely destroyed roads in Kabul

I really did not expect to see dirt road in the Kabul streets. I already noticed that when the airplane was reducing the altitude, I thought he, why is it muddy! Nevertheless when I came out of the airport, I saw it better. If it was rain or snow, all the streets would turn to large muddy roads. If it was dry, dust in the air would limit your eye vision to couple of meters. I have to say that I was consciously trying to not be bothered, but once Hashem who was driving me, said: “it looks that dead dust is covered the city”! it was some hint of truth in what he said.
When I think about it, I wonder why I expected to see a better situation. Is it because of my reference is Iran (and in comparison there is much more developed! There is infrastructure there)! Or did I underestimated the three decays of war here? Any how i expected that at least the capital city has been a little repaired after the Taliban, wih all these money which came in!


"Bazar"



"A street in the center of city"


Any how I am still puzzled, why nobody takes care of the roads in the Kabul? This would make such a big change in the appearance of the city and give such a hope to the people that some thing is changing. Would make people motivated, so many reason for spending the money to build the roads. The theory of some Afghans was: “they do not want to make the roads, they do not want to do any thing for people, they all have come here to use the chance and have a good business for themselves.” Always it come the word of “They”, it is a dual feeling, in one side I think what is this “they”, why not “we”? Why should “we” not doing something and wait for “they”! General problem of our region? Waiting for the others?! But, maybe here the situation is different, 30 years of war left the country with no infrastructure, no experts, no educations, etc. can’t be any way of building the streets?
I heard it has been different attempts, but the problem is corruption, etc…


"This one was one of the good streets!"



"One of the worst ones!"

I thought it would be a big celebration for Norouz (New year day) in Kabul

Intending in the Norouz, celebration on 21st of March was one my main goal of coming to Afghanistan at this time of the year. There is a big celebration in Mazar-e-Sharif in the north. Unfortunately I couldn’t go there. There were no available flight and too many avalanches had happened and expected to happen in the road. Ah I really wanted to go there with car, traveling trough the Hidukush road and Salang tunnel! If I had more time I would go, but I just couldn’t afford staying couple of days in the road. (My hosts were happy that I don’t go since they were scared of suicide bombing for New Year ceremony, which actually didn’t happened!). So I stayed in Kabul.
In Kabul it was some celebration, but not as big as I expected, (or maybe I was expecting too much). In Iran the whole ceremony and getting prepared for the Khaneh Tekani (cleaning the house) and shopping of new-year, etc. starts almost a month before the new year, but in Kabul it was nothing going on the whole week before Norouz. Here also the Norouz ceremony which is originated from Zoroastrian religion got Moslem mix. I write about how I spent my Norouz later. But for the Persian version check out: شب سال نو در هتل کانتیننتال کابل and نوروز در باغ زنانه کابل



"Norouz shopping in Kabul streets "



"Norouz shopping in Kabul bazaar."

I expected that Afghans do not like Iranians:

I had the feeling that Afghans do not like Iranians. I was measuring the way we (mainly our government) treated them in Iran, very inhuman and criminal. For example they did not ever allowed to be Iranian, so there were Afghans who were born and grown up in Iran. Who never saw any where else except Iran, and we never accepted them as Iranian. They could not go to university, they could not intend in the science or sport competitions, never allowed to vote, etc. They were working very hard and had no job security, no insurance nothing! If this would happen to Iranians here in the Netherlands, we would make big demonstrations. So I really was scared that they would hate me as Iranian. But I was totally wrong!
I was surprise to see every body loved Iran. From the university students, political activist, people walking in bazaar, booksellers, afghan soldiers, or the women in the Women’s garden in Kabul. Every body was approaching me as you are my friend. They were telling me their nice memories from Iran. There was just one guy, who used to work in a farm near Shiraz, who told me the Iranian had treated him bad. Still he was telling me that Rafsanjan was good, he had worked in a farm there too.

I gathered that a lot of the Afghans look at Iran as their culture, history and ideal country. (Funny for me, I thought, cool! it is good to come here and get a little confident with being Iranian! Specially these days when all the burden goes deep in your root. When you are opening a news paper, turn on the TV, or just sit in a bar to drink a beer and some body ask you with frightened face of why do you want to blow up the world with atomic bomb? Why do you want to wipe off the Israel? Why …. )
I wanted to know a little more, I gathered that: afghan women liked Iran, because there is security there, they were allowed to go out of home, they could go to school, and they felt free there. Afghan men who I talked with, were working mainly in big cities, they had their job, and pay had been OK. They were telling me that the Iranian people were nice to them, and they have good friends in Iran. More educated people looking at Iran as where there are culture, poetry, science and history. Even there were Afghan soldiers telling me they want to go to Iran and fight for Ahmadi nejad!, because he is the only one who could stand against the American. I heard this scary subject a lot of time, that people were praising our beloved president!

Although I heard many times from people who would liked to go back to Iran, I just heard from one person who actually said she felt Iran was her home. I was confused, if so many people wanted to go back there, if they were so happy there why nobody wanted to call it home? even the ones who were born and raised there.

I expected to see anti-American feelings:

This was a very double story!
I gathered that in general people in Kabul do not like American, they had expected much more to happen when they come but they were disappointed (I write a bout this later), but saying anti-American, in a strong word. I do not know yet! An American military guy told me “you sit in the US military cars and there is a chance to be blown up, you can’t really go to city!” But he added that he loves Afghans, they are very nice people, he has been just taking a taxi and seen a lot of places in the city. Means people do not hate people, it is some thing to do with the military uniform and Taliban? (not a surprise!)
Nevertheless, I heard from people that draw a clear line between American policy and European ones. They do not trust US, they even think that American brought Taliban for them to make the road open for invading the country. I do not know to call it conspiracy theory or some hints of truth; I heard from couple of intellectuals and an ex-Mojahedin soldier (he had some rank in the troops before): “we never accepted any foreign invasion in our country, we kicked them all out, whether was British, or ex USSR. US knew that they can not come here so easily, that is why they supported Taliban, they were feeding them, they wanted them to be here, to kill the life, culture, economy, ruin the country, and this would made people so sick, would result in a welcome to American for freeing them from Taliban who made them themselves. That is what it happened.” It is a very complex story.



"An old Mojahedin soldier. He had so many stories…"

I expected to see many soldiers and military people

there are a lot of military people in the streets, in the evenings almost on every street there are Asgars (Afghan police). Also there are a lot of semi police places in front of every guest house, UN buildings, or NGO’s people houses, etc. Almost every where there is a security guy keeping eye on something. There were a distinct difference between some of the security guys, for example in front of the UN guesthouse, or embassies some had a real gun or Kalashnikov. While others had a sort of gun which had a knife on top of it, like the one you see in World war one movies. I thought they are remained from the time of British colonizing new lands!
Surprisingly I didn’t see that much of foreigner soldiers, I saw some Turkish military cars. They were passing trough city and I even saw one Turkish soldier was chatting with an Afghan soldier. I saw American with their big guns, once or twice (they really look like Hollywood movies). Most disturbing was to see some had their guns towards people, and the fingers on trigger! I thought this was odd, I could feel the fear their appearance imposes. Interestingly when I talked about this seen with some Afghans they told me; “one of the way you would know if the soldier is American or not is from the way he holds his gun, if it is towards people is American! The European do not do that!” I thought what a witches circle, you take your gun towards people, they hate you, they want to kick you out, they blow themselves up, you get killed, you get scared, you point your gun more straight to protect yourself, and welcome to the war, or call it freeing people! Bringing democracy….



"Asgars, near the bazaar"



"A military car gut stuck in traffic and wanted to push every body away!"



"ISAF cars, in the street (It was not allowed to make a photo from the military sites, so I could just make photo in the road!) "

I have heard do not trust any body:

This was really nonsense! I have read in security things that you should not trust any body, etc. I kept that in mind, I was very aware of my surrounding, (even if I wouldn’t show) but I really saw absolutely nothing with people to feel untrustworthy. I saw such a beautiful simplicity and loyalty with people, who I met. I saw very pretty emotional and human interactions that I have just seen in small villages in Iran, where people are not poisoned with the modern life style. Friendship is build very quickly and people were holding it very strongly, every body wants to help you. The concept of hospitality has an extraordinary meaning here. You are guest, and every thing is for you: time, money, love, respect. I have many examples of everyday, with total strangers in street or shops, or with people who I met. I was really amazed, even with my Iranian identity! Either I have been very lucky, or it is not as bad as it is said. I do realize that because of 30 years of war people have developed a very strong and complex survival attitude and mentality that it is difficult to understand, but it seemed to me that certain values are very strong here.

I expected to see quite and sad people:

I thought I would see a lot of sad people, because of the thirty years of war, I thought people are very unhappy. I saw desperation, and bitterness, but I saw also a lot of happy people. I haven’t reached to a clear idea about this. Two weeks is too short, also I am generally happy person, and a lot of people when approach me would be more positive too. Also it helps that they were more interested to know who I am and what am I up to. Quite? definitely no, I met a lot of talkative, expressive, and noisy people. I also noticed that they are shyer in compare to Iranians. To Dutch I do not want to compare yet!

I expected to see poverty:

very True! This is so painful! There are many baggers, and children forcing you to buy an agenda or something in the streets, or when you are waiting in traffic jam, trying to clean your car windows. Honestly I have seen this also a lot in Tehran. What was more shocking and reminding of war were many women and men without legs, or totally disfigured faces, which are sitting in the middle of the streets. I thought it is crazy, seemed like they want to be actually killed since the cars have to go around them in order to not run over them. When I talk to people I realized that they have real trouble with buying food. I met a lot of people from educated families, who you would think should at least fit in middle class. But that was not true, I would not compare with Dutch standards, that I am used to, but to even Iranian standards they were poor. It is very common to live in four rooms, with eleven people. They are actually pretty well off. Many of people I met had to feed at least ten people with their salary. I was invited to few people’s houses for food, they are very very hospitable people, I haven’t seen that much before any where else. I knew some people who really wanted to invite me to their houses but they were ashamed to show me their apartments.

I expected to see very religious people:

people are Moslem here, in every talk and every behavior you see they are Moslem. Not necessary bad, I felt the most nonbeliever still is a Moslem. When they talk, they refer to Quran. I got the feeling that they think Quran is most modern thing that they could have. That is what they want for their life, politics, etc. I gathered that there is a complex mix of customs and religion. They have a lot of customs which came from their tribal way of life. These are (accidentally)! very similar with what is known as fundamentalism behaviors specially towards women, like selling women, violence, etc. They believe (I think correctly) these customs are nothing to do with Islam. And actually Islam would make life much easier for them.



"an Old mosque (Masjed Jame)"



"a newly build Large mosque”